The Long and Short of It Read online

  I sighed. I was mission controller. That meant they all did exactly as they pleased until an unpleasant decision needed to be made and then, suddenly, it was all down to me. I looked at the man, blue with cold, barely conscious and his left leg wet with bright, red blood.

  We should leave him. If you want to put it in the harshest terms possible, we should step over him and continue on our way. Peterson and I had nearly been wiped out once when I just thought about intervening in a robbery. History really doesn’t like us doing that sort of thing.

  On the other hand, I’d saved lives when a wartime hospital blew up. And survived that. And I’d killed Jack the Ripper. And survived that. I’d even meddled with Mary Stuart. And survived that as well. This was just an ordinary woodcutter. In the scheme of things how important could he be? As I looked down at him, his eyelids fluttered.

  Above us, a dark cloud passed across the sun. A few snowflakes drifted down.

  I sold it to myself on the grounds that he was probably dying anyway. Even just moving him might be enough to kill him. We were just taking him somewhere to die in peace. And it was Christmas Day. Goodwill to all men…

  They were all looking at me. I nodded and Peterson and Markham heaved him up. He never made a sound.

  Guthrie picked up the axe and examined it.

  ‘Was he attacked? Did he defend himself?’

  ‘No. This is a workplace-related accident, I think. Swung at the tree and the axe rebounded. Hit his own leg. It happens.’

  ‘Will he die?’

  ‘Probably.’

  Ahead of us, Markham halted again. ‘I smell wood smoke.’

  We inched our way forward to see. Ahead of us, in a small, snowy clearing stood a typical Saxon hut with several inches of snow on its sloping, straw-thatched roof. A tiny plume of smoke rose straight up in the still air. A lean-to literally leaned against the walls and several pens and enclosures were dotted around. Somewhere, a hungry sheep baa’d plaintively and others took up the bleat.

  Hanging between Peterson and Markham, the woodcutter made a small noise.

  ‘Wait here,’ said Guthrie. They lowered him to the ground and Guthrie and Markham crept forward. Peterson watched the clearing and I watched the path. The times were dangerous. All across the country, Norman overlords were taking ruthless possession. Saxon culture was being dismantled and destroyed. Desperate, landless Saxons roamed everywhere. Rebellions were bloodily obliterated before they even got going. William, aware of his still precarious hold on this country, was not messing around.

  I shivered. With the sun gone, the temperature was plummeting.

  There were no other footprints in the snow, but we were cautious all the same. Guthrie thumped on the wooden door and after a few seconds, carefully pushed it open. He disappeared inside. Markham remained on the threshold, covering him.

  Guthrie reappeared suddenly. ‘Max! Quick!’

  Responding to something in his voice, I was across the clearing and stepping down through the door almost without thinking.

  The floor was further down than I thought and I stumbled slightly. Coming in from the blinding whiteness outside, I couldn’t see a thing. The smells hit me immediately, however. Wood smoke, earth, old cooking, animals. And fear.

  I stood still, waiting for my eyes to adjust themselves to the semi-darkness. When I could see properly again, I could make out a surprisingly spacious interior. The roof sloped down to become the walls. Thatch on the outside, planks with pitch on the inside. Two wide shelves held bowls and cooking utensils. Two small wooden stools sat by the fire and a high bench, which perhaps doubled as a table, was pushed against one wall. A few clothes hung from pegs around the walls. The beaten earth floor was swept clean. Everything looked to be in perfect order. Apart from the occupant.

  A central fire, now burning very low, gave just enough light to see the woman on the hard earth floor, curled in rough blankets, her face twisted in pain. She brandished a broom handle threateningly, but even as I looked, her whole body convulsed and she let out a cry between clenched teeth.

  I’d once done a stint as a nurse in an army A & E hospital and I knew that cry. I didn’t need Guthrie to tell me what was happening here.

  ‘Warm water,’ I said sharply. ‘Now.’

  Warm water was about the best I could hope for. Hot water was out of the question.

  The dying fire gave off little light and even less heat, but I could see she was almost certainly younger than she appeared at that moment, with her pale face and shadowed eyes. She had light, flaxen hair, darkened by sweat. I found a cloth and wiped her face. She jerked away, eyes wide and fearful. We were well dressed. We spoke strangely. She had us pegged as Normans.

  I have a few words of Old English. I did my best. I don’t think she understood much of it, but she seemed reassured. I caught the word ‘hus’ and ‘dohtor’. When she said, ‘Aelfric’, the penny dropped.

  ‘Bring him in,’ I called. ‘She’s his wife.’

  Of course she was – who else would live in the woodcutter’s house but the woodcutter’s wife?

  They lugged him in and lowered him gently to the ground on the other side of the fire. She cried out and tried to sit up but was gripped by another contraction. I gently pushed her back down again.

  Peterson appeared at my side. I asked him if he knew what to do.

  ‘A bit,’ he said tersely, ‘but this world is not yet ready for male midwives. I’ll stay over the other side of the hut and shout advice and encouragement.’

  ‘I can’t find the well under all this snow,’ said Markham, appearing at the door.

  ‘Use the snow,’ said Guthrie. ‘Just pack some in that bowl and set it by the fire.’

  ‘Not the yellow stuff,’ instructed Peterson.

  Markham grinned and disappeared.

  ‘How’s Aelfric?’ I asked, rolling up her coarse, woollen dress to reveal her linen underdress.

  ‘Is that his name? I’m cleaning the wound now while he’s still unconscious. It’s a bit gruesome and I don’t have anything to sew it together with, but we can think about that later. How are things over there?’

  ‘Oh, just peachy. Anyone know Old English for – “Put down the broom handle”?’

  Sadly, no one did.

  ‘I need a knife.’

  Guthrie pulled out something with which I could have skinned an elephant.

  ‘Serious overcompensation there, Ian,’ said Peterson, sterilising it in the fire.

  The next ten minutes were quite busy for all of us.

  She was still fearful, so I touched my chest and said, ‘Max.’ She blinked a little at the unfamiliar sound, but said nothing. I tried again. ‘Max.’ I pointed to her husband and said, ‘Aelfric,’ and then pointed at her. At first, she stared at me and just as I was going to give it up, she said, ‘Alice.’ I persuaded her to relinquish her weapon and after that, she was as good as gold.

  Peterson took her hand and then tried not to be girlie about having his fingers mangled.

  Guthrie worked away on the woodcutter’s leg.

  ‘I can’t believe he’s still alive,’ he said on several occasions, ‘but he is.’

  I tried to tell myself this was good news but we were racking up demerits right, left, and centre. Without us – without me – he would probably already be dead. Without him to provide for her, and all alone out here in this biting cold weather, his wife might well have died too. And her baby with her.

  It got worse. She kept pointing and saying ‘dohter’. Peterson, who could see what I could not, looked thoughtfully over my shoulder and got to his feet.

  An old blanket lay in the corner, apparently just carelessly dropped, which was suspicious enough in this immaculate interior, and when he carefully pulled it aside, a tiny face peered up at him. She must have scurried under there when she heard us coming.

  ‘Hello there,’ he said gently, and squatted beside her. ‘My name’s Tim. I’m very pleased to meet you.’

  If you
ever want to charm a woman, Peterson’s your man. From nine to ninety, they just drop out of the trees whenever he walks by. And if you want to reassure a terrified tiny tot then you couldn’t do better.

  She reached out to him. He sat with her on his lap, carefully shielding her from what was happening to her parents and I could hear him singing snatches of nursery rhymes and childhood songs.

  So, on the debit side – one woodcutter, one woodcutter’s wife, one woodcutter’s unborn child, and now, one woodcutter’s daughter as well.

  Markham appeared and dumped a final bowl of snow.

  ‘I’m off to check on the livestock. Probably no one’s fed them today.’

  Add one woodcutter’s livestock to the charge list as well. We were more than doomed.

  ‘Listen,’ I said. ‘All this is down to me. I’m responsible for all this. Seriously, if History turns up in any shape or form, you need to make it absolutely clear that this is all my fault.’

  ‘Don’t worry,’ said Peterson, cheerfully. ‘If History turns up, you’re completely on your own.’

  That was all right, then.

  And so we worked away. St Mary’s competently and efficiently patching wounds, delivering babies, playing with the kid, feeding the sheep, and buggering up History like nobody’s business.

  Eventually, Guthrie stood up.

  ‘I’ve done what I can for the time being. I’m going back to the pod for the first aid kit and some bits and pieces.’

  ‘Me too,’ said Peterson, with relief.

  ‘And me,’ said Markham from the door.

  They marched out and the hide curtain fell across the door, which banged behind them.

  Cowards!

  But I could see their point. Neither the woodcutter nor the woodcutter’s wife was likely to take kindly to a couple of men fumbling around her lady parts, however well intentioned.

  ‘Now then,’ I said, to Alice, whose breathing was quickening alarmingly as she gathered herself for the final effort. ‘Push. Push. Push hard.’

  She got the message. She’d done this before.

  It all happened far too quickly.

  I saw the head appear and I wasn’t ready. Wait, wait…

  She gave the most enormous gut-wrenching cry, dropped her chin on her chest, and gave it everything she had.

  I barely had time to collect myself before the baby was ejected with some force, and more by good luck than good judgement, I managed to field him before he bounced off the opposite wall.

  I think both of us were speechless for a moment.

  Sadly, so was the baby.

  I should have let things be. How many more signs did I need today? But Alice was struggling to sit up and making distressed noises. I couldn’t look at her. I stared at the tiny unmoving thing in my hands.

  Oh, what the hell.

  I gently worked my finger around his mouth to remove any yucky stuff and I know it’s not the correct procedure, but I couldn’t think of anything else, so I hung the poor little scrap upside down and smacked his bottom.

  Nothing happened. Nothing bloody happened. So I did it again.

  And then suddenly, gloriously, he waved his tiny arms and sneezed, sneezed again, and cried.

  I nearly cried, myself.

  I cleaned up the baby, wrapped him in the cloth she had ready, handed him to smiling Alice, and left them together in a world of their own while I tidied up.

  The other patient was awake and anxiously following my every move so I gently took the tiny bundle and carried it to where he could see it. He stared, making movements with his hands. Finally, I got the message and twitched aside the scrap of blanket. His face said everything. I’m sure he loved his daughter very much, but now he had a son. And a wife. And two legs.

  It was hard to believe this was not a good day’s work.

  ‘Harald,’ he said, faintly and Alice nodded.

  I cleared everything away, throwing what I could on the fire and left the rest discreetly by the door for general disposal.

  I built up the fire using the last of the logs. That was why he’d gone out and left them. He’d gone to get wood. Without the fire for warmth, light, and cooking, they would not have lasted long. Winter or summer, the fire must never be allowed to go out.

  I sat playing quietly with the little girl, Aline, until Guthrie and the others should return. The woodcutter dozed and the woman suckled her baby. I sang ‘Away in a Manger’ and Aline, who was the prettiest little girl I’d ever seen, la-la-la’d along with me. It was all very peaceful. Outside, the day darkened, the wind rose and the snow came down harder.

  I was just beginning to worry when they returned, banging in through the door, bringing a flurry of snowflakes with them and some much-needed supplies.

  ‘There’s a hell of a lot of shouting down in London,’ said Markham, cheerfully, dropping bundles by the fire. ‘Fires raging, people screaming and fighting. You can hear it all quite clearly from up here.’

  ‘Any chance of getting down there tonight?’ I asked, hopefully.

  ‘Out of the question,’ said Guthrie. ‘The snow’s coming down hard. I won’t even let anyone try and find their way back to the pod tonight, so we’ll all be sleeping here.’

  ‘Will we all have to snuggle together to keep warm?’ enquired Markham, hopefully.

  ‘Only if the sheep will have you,’ said Peterson.

  I closed my eyes. This was so bad.

  I’d never actually failed on a mission before. True, they hadn’t always gone as I planned. Actually, they rarely went as planned, but never this badly. Granted we’d once failed to find The Hanging Gardens of Babylon but that wasn’t our fault because actually they were in Nineveh. Even Dr Bairstow hadn’t been able to blame us for that one. Although he had tried.

  I was pretty sure I knew what Dr Bairstow was going to say about this. In fact, if I listened hard, I could hear him saying it already.

  Guthrie was taping Aelfric’s leg back together. Peterson waited with the dressing. Markham was emptying a box of compo rations.

  ‘I don’t think they’re yet ready for beef teriyaki or sticky toffee pudding,’ he said, ‘but I’ve brought porridge and some packs of stew – just add water. Here are some high-protein biscuits. You know, the brown ones no one ever eats. There are some glucose sweets and a bar of chocolate as a Christmas treat.’

  He bustled about, preparing a meal and I don’t know what he did, but it was delicious. We served our hosts and settled down ourselves.

  ‘This is really good,’ said Peterson, in surprise. ‘What’s in it?’

  ‘A little bit of everything. A couple of packets of beef and chicken stew, and some stock made with snow that definitely wasn’t yellow, before anyone asks.’

  ‘Good work,’ said Guthrie. ‘Nice flavour.’

  ‘Oh, that’ll be the liver.’

  His head snapped up. ‘Liver? What liver?’

  ‘I chopped up that nice piece of liver I found by the door. Shame to let it go to waste.’

  Spoons paused in mid-air.

  ‘What?’

  Peterson was regarding his bowl with dawning horror. I wondered wildly whether this constituted cannibalism. Everyone stared at the suspiciously innocent Mr Markham.

  He couldn’t keep it up, collapsing in a giggling heap. ‘Your faces,’ was all he managed to get out before Guthrie smacked him round the side of the head with his spoon.

  Our hosts watched these strange Norman goings-on in polite silence.

  We slept in the cottage that night and it was surprisingly warm and snug. Mind you, there were eight of us in there. And the fire. And a couple of rush lights. And the sheep on the other side of the wall. So from an olfactory point of view, quite lively.

  The next morning, Markham fed the livestock. Guthrie chopped wood. Peterson stacked the logs outside the door. I stood in the clearing and stared down at the capital, as if, somehow, I could miraculously penetrate its smoky haze and observe the events of yesterday. The drama here mi
ght be over, but there would be hell to pay when we got back.

  ‘Not your fault,’ said Peterson, coming up behind me. ‘Dr Bairstow can assign someone else. For all we know, they’re down there now, doing a cracking job.’

  ‘Tim…’

  ‘Stop that. There are four people alive in there. To say nothing of the sheep. Who but Markham could bond overnight with three sheep and an old hen?’

  We left at noon that day. They had everything they needed for another day or two and after that, Alice would be strong enough to fetch help if needed. They were pathetically grateful. We were a little light of kindness in a dark world that for them, was about to change for ever.

  I silently wished them luck.

  Nobody spoke much on the way back to the pod.

  And now, here I was in Dr Bairstow’s office. The May sunshine streamed in through his window. Christmas Day, 1066 seemed a very long time ago. In more ways than one.

  He leaned back in his chair. Surprisingly, he seemed amused. Was I missing something?

  ‘So, to sum up. On Christmas Day, long ago, you deliver a boy child to a woman in a rural establishment. Subsequently, three of you appear bearing strange gifts and a family of sheep apparently adopts Mr Markham. Tell me, Dr Maxwell, does any of this seem familiar to you?’

  I shifted uneasily.

  ‘In what way, sir?’

  ‘Do these events remind you of anything? Anything at all?’

  I shook my head, mystified.

  ‘Are you sure? Perhaps if you consider carefully, you may find you have acquired a fresh insight into – a certain event?’

  Always dispose of your placenta responsibly, was probably not the answer for which he was looking.

  I wracked my brains.

  ‘Yes sir,’ I said, glad to be able, finally, to pull something from the wreckage.

  ‘Ah.’ He leaned forwards. ‘And that would be…?’

  ‘Don’t eat yellow snow, sir.’

  I thought of the world’s most unlikely Three Wise Men, currently having a quick quaff in the bar, apparently exhausted after having delivered their mystic gifts of casualty kit, kindling, and compo and shook my head, unwilling to be dragged any further into these deep, theological waters.